Screwing Up Things: Akatsuki?
by LP and DBZ
Summary: Instead of being in the warm-hearted care of Konoha's hospital...I somehow get thrown into a cold prison. Is this what I get? I get turned into a girl, surrounded by cold-heartless killers?
1. An Angry Cosplayer

**Screwing Up Things: Akatsuki?**

**Okay, first i'd like to say I AM NOT finished the original "Screwing Up Things". I just thought of this while eating fish sticks. **

**Disclaimer: I, do not, and will never will own Naruto.**

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**Enjoy.**

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Prolog: An Angry Cosplayer Makes A Deadly Cosplayer

I'm currently on my way to a anime convention. I arrived all high and mighty with my Itachi cosplay. I had a evil idea. An idea so evil...that...that...evil isn't evil enough! I was going to find a Sasuke cosplayer and poke him in the forehead. Then, I'm going to laugh my ass off.

Seeing my prey, I slowly walk up to the cosplayer. "What's up?" I asked causally. "Hn." Did this dude really have to be that in character? "Oh? Wanna be all in character and stuff?!Then I guess...you won't mind me doing this," I poked his fore head and laughed at his face.

His face turned into a full-out glare. To be honest, it was creeping the fuck outta me. "Uh..." I slowly went to go find my friend who was cosplayed as Kisame. "Dude, guess what I just did?" I said excitedly. "Yes...Itachi, what did you do that was so amusing?" I noticed the humor in when he said "Itachi."

"I poked a Sasuke cosplayer in the forehead..." I laughed. He just simply shook his head, "That kind of shit gets you jumped." I frowned, "My fish-buddy will save me..." I looked at his face. It was blank. "Right...?" He smirked down at me. "I'll be there to take a video of you getting your ass whooped and post it on youtube."

"Whatever. Let's go find a Pein cosplayer and kick him in the balls!" Wait... "On second thought, that might not be a good idea." I laughed.

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"Whew, that was fun." I laughed again. "Kisame" laughed with me. To get to our car, we had to walk through an ally. Bad. Fucking. Idea. The Sasuke I poked in the head earlier had a bat in his hand, a mean, big, scary, Madara stood over us. Damn that dude was tall.

"You said I wasn't Tobi? Madara is Tobi!" Madara hissed. Is he really that mad just because I said Obito was under that mask? I mean, I understand the whole Sasuke thing...but dude...

My thoughts were interrupted when Sasuke swung that METAL bat at my head. I let out the loudest-girliest scream I could sum up. He then stuffed what I think was a sock into my mouth. I looked over to my friend, who was glaring at me in the same state.

It only took one more swing to my skull until i slipped into sweet, sweet, death.

Before i slipped into darkness, I saw my friend smirking slightly, as he too, got one last swing to the head before dying limply.

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"We should kill the bitches."

I'm dead?! Holly fuck! Maybe...

I suddenly felt warmth going threw my body. And slight control of my limbs.

Am...I...really...dead?

I felt a huge pump in my chest.

A heart beat.

I slowly open my eye lids, waiting to see a blind light. Instead, I was greeted by a dark, dim lighted room.

I tried to move my limbs, only to discover I'm chained up to a wall.

I kept trying to wiggle my way out, it only made sounds, why'd I have to be in hell?!

The door, creaked open to show me two figures...

I squinted my eyes to get a better look at them.

Oh fuck...

Kisame and Itachi stood in front of me.

"How did you get into base, girl?" Kisame asked, raising an eyebrow. Girl? He must be mistaken...I lowered my head to see I had about D-cupped breast. "Answer." Kisame said.

"..." I still had to think out things...why is two really good cosplayers in front of me? Why the hell I'm I a girl with huge breast?

Itachi let out a irritated sigh as he walked up to me. He lifted up my head by placing a finger on my chin. I couldn't help but to look into his eyes...so...

I lost my train of though-

"She knows nothing. We should ask leader what should we do with her." Itachi said turning to Kisame.

"I already know a good reason for her to stay..." Kisame smirked as he eyed me up and down.

What the fuck just happened?

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**REVIEW MY BITCHES!**


	2. Naomi and Mizuki!

**I got nothing to say...BUT...just like in the original; "Screwing Up Things", I'm accepting OC's...so yeah...**

**Enjoy...review...**

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What the fuck did he mean by he got an idea of what to do with me?

"So...we can't kill the bitch?" I heard a familiar voice.

Hidan.

"No. She's too pretty for that..." Kisame laughed slightly. "So...we can fuck her?" Hidan asked smugly. "Hope so..." Kisame replied. What? No!

"Leader-sama said to bring the girl to him." Itachi's voice rang in my ears. The big stone doors opened, revealing a grinning Kisame. He didn't say a word, instead, he let the chains off my hands and legs. I rubbed them, they hurt from being up there.

He slung me over his shoulders. "Ouch!" His shoulder was bulky, so when it made contact with my stomach, it felt like a punch. A very hard one at that.

He walked out the room, passing a smirking Hidan and a calm looking Itachi. "I hope we do get to keep the bitch...she's hot." Hidan laughed.

Sadastic Bastard...

Next thing I know I'm being thrown onto the ground...

By a woman?

Why does this person look like the female version of my friend (Okay, to tell you now, his name was Derek...) I cosplayed with?

He...erm...SHE...must've been thinking the same thing, because she was looking at me with a shocked face.

"Fuck..." She muttered.

Heh, she read my mind...though, I would've said it louder, due to the pain in my butt where Kisame dropped me.

Itachi then walked into the room, as if he was waiting for something.

"Hm...who are these girls?" A shiver ran up my spine. That voice was so damn chilling...

"Leader-sama, I had learned, the one with black hair and green eyes," Itachi motioned to Derek, "Name was Mizuki."

Mizuki...?

"And the one with the red hair and blue eyes," He then motioned to me, "Name was Naomi."

Naomi...what the fuck-

"Hm. What else? How'd they get here?" I soon figured out that voice belong to the almighty Pein.

"Unknown." His answer was so simple...

"Do you have a good reason to keep them-" Pein was cut off by Kisame.

"Yes," He eyed me.

Pein growled, "Don't interrupted me. I mean besides sexual needs."

Kisame frowned and racked his brain for a reason.

"Cleaning?" He asked.

"I suppose. They will not leave base, unless someone is with them, you are not permitted to kill them without my permission. I don't care what you do with them for sexual needs." Pein finished and motioned them out.

Kisame grinned widely. "Oh, and introduce them to the rest." Was Pein's final words.

Kisame threw me over his shoulder again, "Ouch, dammit! That hurts!" I whined. I clutched my throat, oh god...I really do sound like a girl. But I sound kinda sexy...hehehe...I wonder If I look like I sound...

I saw Itachu calmly walk by Derek...or should I say Mizuki? Mizuki was smirking at me as I was being carried hurtfully by Kisame.

Kisame sat me down, a little more gently this time. Mizuki sat down next to me and whispered, "Are you Alex...?" She asked timidly. "Yeah, Derek...or should I say Mizuki?" I said in amusement.

Mizuki frowned and looked up.

One by one, Akatsuki members filled the room.

Some of them had pervy looks on there faces, some had a look that said, "I just don't fucking care."

"So these are the new girls Leader-sama has been talking about, yeah?" Deidara grinned at us as he reached to touch Mizuki's face...

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***Mizuki POV***

Oh god he's trying to touch my face. I'm fed up with this kind of shit. First, Alex gets us killed, then were being sexually harassed by Akatsuki members. I felt heat rise up to my cheeks out of anger.

I swatted his hand away, puffing my cheeks out. "Awe, don't be like that...hmm..." He was now smirking. He turned to Kisame, raising an eyebrow, "You did say Leader-sama say we can you know...use them, hmm?" He asked. Kisame nodded eagerly.

"Hehehe, I like the feisty ones, yeah." He smirked widely at me. I frowned at him as I moved closer to Alex...gah, I mean Naomi. I can see her biting her lip trying not to laugh...

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***Back To Naomi's POV***

This sight was so funny, the attempt of Deidara trying to flirt, or Mizuki having a odd look on his...oops, her face. "Those bitches are fine..." Hidan licked his lips, then it turned into a sadistic grin. "I mean, look at those tits! This one gotta had implants or something!" Hidan reached out to touch my chest.

I slapped his hands away.

Hard.

"That's what you get...if you want to touch a woman's breast, do it right!" Kisame stated, sitting next to me. He winked at me, pulling me close. "This is sexual harassment might I add..." I said loud enough to make sure everyone heard.

"It's not. If your slaves." I glared at Hidan, who just laughed as a response. "I wish we could sell them to brothel." Kakuzu muttered in annoyance.

Mizuki snapped, "We ain't fucking whores! So if you don't fucking mind, I'd like to keep my innocents!" She yelled, a huge tic mark over her head. "Well, now you are, yeah." Deidara said smugly.

"How do you know your a virgin...?" I muttered. "What was that...~?" Kisame asked in my ear, making me jump.

"Enough. Here, put these on. Then start cleaning the rooms. You'll find them." Itachi threw VERY slutty looking maid outfits.

"Well...damn..." Mizuki mumbled, grabbed the outfit.

'So...were are we suppose to change?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "In this room..." Itachi replied, leaving.

Sasori and Kakuzu left with him.

"Well?" Kisame asked, edging closer.

Okay...there is so many things wrong with this. One being; I'm a girl, there a bunch of guys, second; I don't even know if I'm wearing a bra and underwear, last; doesn't this outfit look a little skimpy?

Mizuki scowled, taking off her shirt, but she turned around first. And she wasn't wearing a bra. Thankfully, she was wearing underwear.

"Shit." I cursed, I also turned around, taking off my shirt and shorts, placing the maid outfit on quickly.

I struggled trying to fit my breast in there, as you see, I'm not use to having boobs. My struggle earned laughter from the men left in the room.

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**I might change the rating...due to langue? I dunno. **


End file.
